Thoughts on therapy
When you understand a pattern but still feel caught in it
You may be able to describe a pattern clearly. You agree to something you don't want to do, replay a conversation afterward, or find yourself having a familiar argument in a different relationship. Knowing what happens doesn't always make the next moment feel easier.
What you might call self-sabotage
When a pattern gets in the way of something you want, you may describe it as self-sabotage. I’m interested in understanding what happens in those moments, rather than treating the word as an explanation on its own.
We can slow down one of those moments together. What was happening when you said yes? What did you imagine might happen if you said no? Did you know what you wanted at the time, or only afterward?
My approach draws on psychoanalytic and psychodynamic psychotherapy, with a focus on what you're facing now. We bring in the past when it helps us understand a present concern or find a different way to respond.
I ask questions, offer feedback, and help you consider other perspectives and possible next steps. If you often agree before you've had time to think, for example, we might explore what makes pausing difficult and consider how you could ask for time before giving an answer. If a conversation keeps going badly, we might work through what you want to say and how to say it.
Sometimes the useful shift is understanding a reaction more clearly. Sometimes it's seeing a situation differently or trying a new response. We can return to what happened, what you noticed, and what you want to work on next. Your feedback helps us keep the work relevant to your life.
If this sounds like the kind of work you're looking for, a free 15-minute consultation is a place to start.